Twenty something years into my career, after seeing countless others through the range of psycho-social-emotional struggles, and in more recent years through a myriad of psychospiritual, mystical, and otherwise non-ordinary experiences, an insidious near total burnout meets mid-life/Chiron Return meets Dark Night of the Soul/Spiritual Emergency/Awakening experience brought me to my knees. Literally and symbolically everything in my life was thrown into a dizzying state of internal chaos. Including work. Did I still want to be a therapist? What did that even mean? Why am I doing it? Is it how I’m to continue to serve? All the way to “Who the fuck AM I?”

I’ll spare you the psychic dismemberment-type details. Let’s just say whatever sense of identity cohesion I thought I had nailed down evaporated into a kind of madness unlike anything I’d ever experienced. Fortunately I had family, a tribe of trusted counsel including a therapist-mentor of twenty years, the benefit of seeing many people through similar rite-of-passage crisis, and lots of ‘book knowledge’ about navigating this stage of the Hero’s Journey. Yet, every such breakdown/breakthrough contains both universal themes, idiosyncratic elements and potential gifts that no one else’s experience or amount of study can prepare one for. (More on this next section).

Surrendering each day, asking only to be shown a new way forward—professionally, personally, spiritually—I went within and followed where led.

“Ask, [Believe], Receive.”

“Belief, Faith, Fruition.”

“Thought, [Feeling], Word, Deed.”

Because there’s no spiritual bypasses, where I was led was of course further into the heart of the darkness (“The cure for pain is in the pain” - Rumi). Darkness eerily foreshadowed by a harrowing plant medicine journey a year or so earlier. A tale for another time. Anyway, it took copious amounts of prayer/surrender, meditation, vigorous exercise, and many Walden-esque excursions into the woods to access, ground, begin embodying and integrating my destabilized state of consciousness. Due to the nature of this crisis-opportunity, it also intuitively led me deeper into ancient spiritual/esoteric/mystery school teachings, shamanism and other indigenous wisdom, depth and transpersonal psychology, as well as back to the multiplicity of mind-based therapies like Psychosynthesis and Internal Family Systems (IFS) that I’d joyfully discovered years earlier but inexplicably fell away from. ( I know now why).

With a modicum of stability and clarity restored, I re-committed to my work knowing full well it would never look the same. I was then nudged further ahead into the quantum realm, into modern neuroscience, psychoneuroimmunology, biofield science, energy and somatic psychology, and other cutting edge methods of mind/body/spirit healing.

Then, a synchronistic nudge toward a simple but potent approach (with a laughably apt name and ancient spiritual roots that spoke to my heart) appeared and changed everything. Both an unmistakable sign of that requested way forward and evidence that:

1) Spirit has a sense of humor

2) You cant make this stuff up

3) A minor miracle had taken place

After becoming adept and certified in this method and the applied kinesiological process that accompanies it, and with higher faculties fast coming online (more on this below) I found myself synchronistically discovering complementary new therapeutic gems and making intuitive adaptations. Before I knew it I was synthesizing a customized, energy psychology (ep)-based, intuitively-guided healing and alignment approach I’ve named SUBCONSCIOUS HEAL & RELEASE.

An incurable curioso and spiritually promiscuous student of the world’s religious, spiritual and wisdom traditions from early on, I’ve long been drawn to all things metaphysical, philosophical, psychological and self help. My thinking has been shaped by Huxley’s Perennial Philosophy, Transcendentalism, Contemplative Christianity, Mysticism, Phenomenology, New Thought/Science of Mind, Gnosticism, Theosophy, Hermeticism, and more recently for reasons that will become clear later, Sacred Geometry, Spiritual Alchemy, and Shamanism. And my worldview was also undoubtedly altered early on by some valiant if half-baked chemically-assisted attempts to open the ‘doors of perception” in my youth. Especially interesting now as we find ourselves in the ‘third wave;’ the new psychedelic medicine paradigm, which I’m all for when utilized properly, and for the right reasons.

Practicing various forms of yoga and Insight Meditation during grad school and inspired by the wisdom of the Dharmic relgions as a whole, I made quite a study of Yogananda’s Self-Realization teachings, later initiating in Kriya Yoga by Paramahansa Prajnanananda. Ultimately, I align with an interfaith position that recognizes the unifying spiritual ethic behind all major and many lesser known teachings. I’m primordially inspired by people like J. Krishnamurti who, along with refusing both deification and spiritual exclusivity, exclaimed truth to be a “pathless land.” And Zen philosopher Alan Watts who taught that since essence [of Absolute Truth] is beyond comprehension, and that no one anything contains the ‘secret sauce’ to the exclusion of all else.

Yet, for the majority of my therapy career I operated within traditional psychological models and modalities, keeping most of my spiritual leanings at a comfortable distance. As a result of all but neglecting the transpersonal, for years I attracted those with little to no spiritual interest or aspirations for spiritual growth— mirroring and contributing to my own lack of integration and alignment. In so doing, I wasn’t being true to all of who I am. If you’ve ever fallen into this trap, you don’t need me to tell you there’s always a price to pay for even the most benign self-betrayal.

It’s also clear now that I had subconsciously bought into puritantical and scarcity-based notions that both security and service meant arriving earlier, staying later, seeing anyone and everyone, and working myself to dust and ash. “Achievement bypassing,” as Dr. Richard Schwartz calls it. There were some early mind-body warning signs I largely ignored, or rationalized as coming with the territory: recurring inexplicable high blood pressure, irregular thyroid functioning, adrenal fatigue, a quietly building resentment, neglect of family to a degree unawares. Fantasies of chucking it all and opening a crab shack on far away beach was a pretty good indicator. (Turns out I was just really missing the ocean and fresh seafood :).

So while I wish I “got it” sooner, Divine timing prevails. And the inevitable crisis was of course the best thing that ever could have happened. Perhaps like the governing powers that be, even spirit/soul/soul contract/karma, however you think of it, never lets a good crisis go to waste.

The weird…

In late 2006, just before launching my f/t time independent practice, my wife and I were invited to India with some spiritually adept friends to visit extended family in both Kolkata and Berhampur, in the northern region of West Bengal— an old world city that hadn’t seen many white faces since the British. That was something. Stranger still was that the home where we stayed in the North was ripe with discordant subtle realm activity. For most of it, I seemed to be the only one not having regular ‘encounters.’ That is, until I agreed to be a participant-observer in a spontaneous ceremony- a séance of sorts- that lasted till the wee hours and produced such profoundly visceral paranormal phenomena that all lingering doubts as to the existence of an alternate transcendent reality not governed by physical laws instantly dissolved. Part trance channeling, part veil-piercing spiritualistic incorporation, part quasi-exorcism, part psychopompic ushering of earthbound lost souls to the light, I felt and witnessed things far beyond prosaic explanation. If I wasn’t already a possibilist, that converted me.

Disconcerting as it was profound, this experience—one that took years to fully process—would come to inform my view that the lower astral realm of ego-stuck earthbound souls, discarnate entities and the alluring paranormal phenomenon that often accompanies contact with this realm is fascinating, and informs the survival hypothesis—i.e. eternality of the soul/continuation of consciousness. But it’s full of false-light mischief and subterfuge. No peace or higher truth to be found.

In hindsight, this was perhaps my first true test of spiritual discernment in action.

The Wild…

Fast forward to around 2010. While immersed in eastern conceptions of the Divine Feminine, and meditating regularly through a trying time of intense emotions, a numinous experience in the form of a transmission of pure unconditional love from Divine Mother consciousness was perceived, in a manner that’s difficult to describe, yet was unmistakably clear, ending in a river of tears. “Be quiet my child. I hear you. You are loved. Keep coming” was the communication. Though I didn’t consider it as such at the time, I now think of this as my first true mystical, or Spiritually Transformative Experience (STE), a term coined by Dr. Yvonne Kason in 1994.

More recently while navigating the most confounding stage of the aforementioned crisis, the words “You are being given a gift of holy discernment” was indelibly impressed upon my consciousness during a meditation in a manner similar to the earlier example above. All I know is that it was a transmission from something higher than myself, and that I’d never been aware of combining the words ‘Holy’ and ‘Discernment’ together before. STE number two. True to its implication, the blinding inner chaos and confusion increasingly made way for clarity from that point forward.

Not long after this, again during a surrender session, an intense, seemingly electromagnetic infusion of Divine Light came piercing through as a concentrated shot of pure bliss, perceptually lighting me and the room up like a stadium. Another STE. Thus marked another major shift in the darkest part of it all. And in some sense the beginning of the initiation process I’ve found myself in.

On yet another occasion during meditation messages of love, validation and family/generational-related information from departed loves ones (and some ‘other’ unidentifiable sources) came pouring out my mouth. After a few of these spontaneous interludes, lacking the clarity to discern who or what was coming through and why, I shut it down. All of it. I said “I’m not ready. But if something like this is in the Divine plan for me, I’ll remain open to a clear sign.” Although I’d already worked with several near-death experiencers, burgeoning mediums and the like through my SUPPORT FOR EXTRAORDINARY EXPERIENCE specialty, I had no designs on becoming a medium myself.

After some months, feeling clearer and more grounded, I returned to sitting. Almost immediately, spontaneous, involuntary, intelligently-directed, methodical yet fluid head movements began. These oscillations were subtle at first. Then increasingly dramatic, at times whipping my head into a minor frenzy of sacred geometrical-like configurations. Always stopping short of serious discomfort or pain, yet intense enough to keep chiropractic on speed dial. The mainstay formation was and still is the infinity symbol. Understanding from quantum physics that geometry is the base of all subatomic interactions, from ancient civilizations that sacred geometry is the fabric of space-time itself, and Plato who believed “God geometrizes always” and deemed it “the knowledge of the eternally existent,” I was intrigued at the least.

Many would liken this to a physio-kundalini awakening, akin to what some yogis and intensive meditators experience. I’ve personally studied, worked with people, and have colleagues who’ve experienced Kundalini phenomenon. This was something ‘wholly other.’ Mysterium facinas. And coinciding, or perhaps a result, was the emergence of a claircognizant/clairsentient ability that would be with me permanently in the form of subtle involuntary head nods whereas up signals ‘yes’ (truth), and left/right ‘no’ (falsehood). Pretty handy, I must say. I now consider that to be the concrete embodiment of that ‘Gift of Holy Discernment.’

The Wonderful…

And so it is that I’ve gradually surrendered to what’s become, insane as it may sound, a process of near-daily communion, energy center activation, purification, higher faculty attunement, and transmissions on a sub/superconscious level via various Christ Consciousness-aligned multidimensional energies, collectives, guides, masters, avatars, saints, sages, light beings, and teachers (independently validated by two renowned seers/channels). As of the time of this writing, there’s no conscious access to the transmissions beyond identification of host/guide/teacher at any given time and the essence of what’s being imparted or conducted. There are occasional mental impressions of encouragement and validation of progress being achieved, and I sometimes the receipt of mental impressions/downloads of information, guidance, or symbols that provide insight and clarity, including in my work. But no certainty as to where this is all headed. No instruction manual. Just some hunches as to probable end goals. One of which is consistently validated by higher guidance.

As for now, and maybe forever I’ll remain, as one spiritually precocious client of mine put it, “ontologically agnostic” as to the actual sources of who and what is interacting with me. Could be purely Higher Self. Could be a grand deception. But if we shall know them by the fruits of their labors, whereas my life, work, marriage, family, and spiritual life has only become exponentially more calm, peaceful, stable, joyous, and prosperous since this all took place, if I’m being hoodwinked by El Diablo and his minions, they’re doing a shit job.

It’s also possible that I’ve gone so far off the deep end into delusion that a return to sanity is unlikely. I cannot totally rule that out. Buyer beware. In truth, what I feel is that like many others during this pivotal time on the pale blue dot, I’m being prepared to play a role perhaps beyond therapist in the collective acceleration of consciousness, or what some would call Ascension (which really just means to ‘rise up;’ to remember the Self or the Soul). I just feel fortunate to have weathered the storm, and to have received a tangible heightened intuitive capacity that serves me and my clients well. I’m committed to continuing this spirit-directed vision quest, learning and following the trail of this most humbling education in surrender, faith, gnosis, and patience with the mysterious world of often inexplicable, transpersonal and spiritual emergence phenomenon.

And that’s, you could say, how I got kicked out of the box. The one I always had a foot and arm dangling out of anyway. “Let go, or be dragged!” said Buddha. And this is why much of my work is now devoted to assisting other ‘experiencers’ explore, navigate and integrate spiritual, mystical, psychedelic and/or otherwise non-ordinary happenings into their everyday work, love, and play.

I’m a licensed clinical social worker, licensed to practice psychotherapy in Tennessee. I received a BA in English from Clark University (1992) and an MSW from New York University (2000). The years in between were spent pursuing my first love, music. I got my ya-ya’s out and experienced many of the common and cliché thrills of victory and agonies of defeat on the creative path. And survived the shit show that is the music business. No regrets, and I’ll never forget it, if only because I still have cymbals and guitars ringing in my ears. Yet, it wasn’t really this that led me onto the healing path. It was a crushing heartbreak in my early 20’s that triggered a major depression and landed me in therapy (something I felt deeply ashamed of at the time) that opened my eyes to both the inward journey and planted a seed as to my true calling. Nevertheless, I’ve continued playing, writing and recording music here and there ever since.

Post MSW, I worked for about eight years with children, teens and adults doing individual and group therapy in at-risk school-based, medically supervised substance abuse, and community mental health settings in NYC and TN. In 2005 I received a Distinguished Service Award from the Division of Community Psychiatry at Vanderbilt. After a brief stint at another community-based clinic and a little moonlighting, I started a full time independent practice in 2007.

Originally trained in ego psychology and contemporary psychodynamic/relational psychotherapy within a larger humanistic framework, it was a rich foundation that underscored the value of exploring the past as a way of making the present understandable. It also solidified the connected therapeutic relationship as the bedrock of all good therapy that I had experienced first hand in the years prior to embarking upon becoming a therapist.

In addition to my post-pandemic home-based and telehealth practice, I provide clinical supervision to pre-licensed therapists and consultation to other experienced therapists, particularly those experiencing similar crises. For several years I was the case conference/supervision facilitator for the American Center for the Integration of Spiritually Transformative Experiences (ACISTE) of which I’m an Certified Mental Health Provider (ACMHP) where I received training to assist individuals with integrating STEs. I’m a provider for the Foundation for Excellence in Mental Health Care (FEMC), the Psychedelic Support Network, and the Spiritual Emergence Network (SEN). I belong to the Association for Spiritual Integrity, the International Association for Near-Death Studies, Inc (IANDS), the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology (ACEP), the Consciousness and Healing Initiative (CHI), the Galactic Alliance, and the Organization for Paranormal Understanding and Support (OPUS). For several years I served as voluntary therapist for a local chapter of Starborn Support, an organization for experiencers of non-human intelligence contact and other non-ordinary/anomalous phenomenon.

From Long Island but with deep paternal southern roots, I’m a transplant Nashvillian since just after 9-11. I live with my wife (an artist, empath, incredible mom, family CEO, my grounding & guiding light), our two sweet girls gifted through adoption, and two endlessly shedding dogs. I’m a creatively maladjusted spiritual rebel with a cause, meditator and spiritual initiate, musician, an amateur ballroom dancer, old school boxing enthusiast, a non-ironic AMC Pacer aficionado (don’t laugh), lifelong learner, and biophiliac. I’m traditionally LGBTQ affirming, sex positive, a responsible psychedelic/sacred plant medicine proponent, and increasingly apolitical/conscientiously objecting in this post-truth the Global Dark Night we appear to be experiencing. Along with raising/being raised by my girls, growing up within marriage and building bonds with fellow tribe members, I’m mostly succeeding keeping my awe-inspired inner children alive, and maintaining that coveted head-in-the-clouds/feet-on-the-ground balance. Remaining a student on the spiritual path— a chela— as enveloped as possible in the Great ‘I AM’ Presence, and serving always from this place is my abiding aim. Wherever that asks, wherever it takes me from here, I’m all in.

If we’re aligned to do so, I look forward to joining you on your rise to whatever heights your heart desires to reach.